Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
