Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
