Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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