You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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