did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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