just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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