don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
