i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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