Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
