Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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