i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We need to get me chipped asap
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
