I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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