Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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