A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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