Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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