i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
