My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
