Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
