I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
