i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize