clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
