Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
