I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.