First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.