You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
