I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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