So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
