Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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