have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
