it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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