is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
