I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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