Where did you get a picture of my penis
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
