white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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