I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I only lived at night.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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