Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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