I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
