Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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