he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
