"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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