i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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