I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
