You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mouth tastes like poor choices
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize