I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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