Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to calm my uterus...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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