You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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