So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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