I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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