**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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