WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My balls are so social today.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
