lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
