Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
