Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
