Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize