rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
