You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
