All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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