bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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