He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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