Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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