I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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