She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
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There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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