can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
